When faced with the death of a loved one, the impact on your life is significant. As a funeral director, I often heard people describe it as a loss of control. As a grieving mother, I often described death as the biggest rip off imaginable.
A once composed person, you suddenly feel as if you are spiraling out of control. Thoughts become jumbled, emotions are off the charts and energy is almost nonexistent. You did not invite death into your life. Death barged in and grief took over, leaving you no choice in the matter. You face details that you don’t want to think about, let alone acknowledge. Devastation is your constant, uninvited, nagging companion. You feel helpless and alone.
The desire to have some sort of control becomes strong. You long to feel in control of something in your life.
The word that describes this desire is EMPOWERMENT. Empowerment suggests strength, not in a militant, combative way, but strength in a way that comes from the trust you feel from within. This empowerment comes from choice. The definition of empowerment is the process of becoming stronger and more confident. Empowerment is the feeling you get when you say to yourself, “I’ve got this”, and you know that you do.
EMPOWERMENT is a PROCESS
Empowerment is the process of educating yourself about your grief. It is knowing what triggers you, knowing how to feel your emotions, knowing what is beneficial and knowing when you need to say “No thank you”. It is educating yourself about you.
Empowerment is the process of setting boundaries around yourself. These boundaries keep the harmful thoughts, objects and people out. When you know yourself and how you live in your grief, you will know where your comfort zone is and where safety lies. You can stay within your chosen boundaries.
Empowerment is the process of choosing goals on a daily basis. Each day choose one, two or three things you will accomplish. These goals can be large or small, but make sure they are attainable.
The key to this EMPOOWERMENT PROCESS is self-compassion and grace. Acknowledge the successful days and aspire to live more of them. Acknowledge the disastrous days and give yourself grace. By not lamenting over unmet goals or wavering boundaries you are living self-compassion. Self-compassion realizes that it is OK and you will have days that are like that. Empowerment is a process; each day that you learn something, set a goal and maintain your boundaries, you are becoming stronger and more confident.
Empowerment is possible while living with Grief In Life.
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